giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
