Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
