chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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