So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
