i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
