so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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