worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
