oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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