I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
