had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
