The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
