blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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