I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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