come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
