What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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