so let's talk penis.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
