So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
