My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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