Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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