I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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