I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
