Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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