I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
