just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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