pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
