Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
