I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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