youre lurking in front of me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
