Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
