I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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