We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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