Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
