I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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