I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Vodka?
Forever.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize