More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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