just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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