Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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