I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My vagina is officially offended.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
