so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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