Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
