he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
