Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
