so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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