so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
