it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
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