can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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