Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
