I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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