Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
