I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
