What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My penis needs a shock collar
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
