She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
