you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
