I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We had sex on a dog bed..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
