we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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