i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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