I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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