bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
