she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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