do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
