Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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