I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
